Dying In His Arms
by Cyokie Revott
Summary: Vincent Nightray has only ever had one purpose: to make his elder brother happy. And no matter what Gilbert's feelings on the matter, Vincent's mission would never change. One-sided Vincent x Gilbert (Vincent's side), Vincent x Ada and one-sided Oz x Gilbert (Gilbert's side) with Oz's side not expanded on.


**_WARNING! The second part of this fic includes plenty of spoilers for the last volume of PandoraHearts. If you haven't read volume twenty-four yet, I advise you to either not read the second part of this fic or not read this fic at all. Proceed with caution._**

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Gilbert Nightray and Vincent Nightray, older brother and younger brother, opposites by almost all means, were speaking alone in the Nightray manor.

And Vincent had just said something so absurd, so ridiculously absurd, that Gilbert couldn't bring himself to process it, much less believe it.

"Sorry, Vince," Gilbert said, frowning dumbly. "I'm not sure I caught what you said."

"I love you, Gil." The ache in the blonde brother's eyes was so fierce that it stabbed through Gilbert's heart as well. It was a type of pain that was contagious, something that could be transferred simply by looking at the person's face. "I love you more than anyone else in the world. I've never loved anybody but you. Everything I do is to make you happy."

It was so obvious he didn't mean brotherly love.

It was sickening, not just because of the incest but because he'd never told his older brother any of this, because he'd been hiding something so important and hadn't said a word about it.

And it was sickening because there was no way Gilbert could grant Vincent's greatest wish.

Gilbert could never return those feelings.

"I love you too." Gilbert looked away, swallowing. He was pale and trembling. "But not like that. You're my little brother, and that will never change. It never could. But I can't love you that way."

Vincent felt the pit in his stomach worsening. He thought for absolute certain that sometime in this conversation, he was going to throw up. He spoke words so insecure that they were frighteningly out-of-character. "Why can't you?" He took an agonizing pause. "Am I not good enough?"

These were questions the raven-haired man should never have to hear come out of the blonde's mouth.

"It's not that. God, Vince, it's not that. Stop talking like that, will you?" Gilbert sighed, finally daring to meet Vincent's eyes. "I love you. I will never let anybody deny you. I will protect you from anyone who tries to hurt you. Never let yourself think you're not good enough for me, because I couldn't ask for a better younger brother." He closed his eyes briefly before opening them again, looking severely pained. "And even if I can't return that specific aspect of your feelings for me…" He grimaced at how that sounded. "…it hurts me that you hadn't told me this before now. Your feelings matter to me. And if it's something as important as this, I need to know."

Both adopted Nightray brothers were trembling now, staring into each other's eyes with an utmost fear. Vincent was biting his lip, trying so hard to keep his watering eyes from overflowing. Gilbert's eyes were wild and unfocused, looking all around, seemingly anywhere but the man standing across from him.

"Why? Why do you need to know?" Vincent's voice was shaking. Vincent's voice never shook. "It's disgusting, and you don't feel the same way. _I'm_ disgusting…"

"Shut up! Stop saying things like that! Where do you think it will get you?" Gilbert snapped. Vincent flinched. "Saying things like that isn't going to make you feel any better, Vince. It's only going to make you feel worse. So stop doing that. And anyway, to answer your question, I need to know because I'm your big brother." There were storms inside those golden eyes of his, and Vincent couldn't look away. "And big brothers can only take care of their little brothers if they know what's going on with them."

"Gil…" Vincent blinked away a single tear. It slid down his porcelain face and dropped off of his chin onto the fabric of his clothing, leaving a tiny, dark dot. "You don't have to do or feel anything. I'm not telling you to do or feel anything. But just give me a reason you can't love me back, Gil." His hands were clenched so, so tightly into fists, his knuckles turning paler. "Just give me _one reason._ "

Gilbert, staring deep into his brother's eyes, tried to find something negative there, something condescending or pushing or dangerous.

But the only thing he found was longing—heartbreaking, desperate longing.

And so he answered.

"I don't really have a reason. There's nothing I can say that will justify the fact that I can't love you the exact same way you love me." Gilbert gulped, exhaling heavily. "But I _can_ love you, Vince, even if it's not entirely in the way that you want."

Vincent laughed. But it was empty, broken…mirthless. "You must think I'm repulsive now, Gil. You must never want to see me again. Isn't that right?"

Gilbert shook his head violently. "Vince, I'm not disgusted with you! Stop _doing_ that. Like I said, it's not going to get you anywhere, so what's the point of constantly undermining yourself?"

Vincent smiled ruefully, preparing to entirely avoid his brother's question. "Is the reason you can't love me that little Vessalius boy?"

Gilbert froze, his tongue darting out over his lips as his eyes narrowed.

"You know, Vince, I really don't appreciate it when you both act strangely evasive _and_ use my master to catch me off-guard."

"It was an honest question. Don't get mad." Vincent gave a perfect, angelic little smile. That smile, all too often, made unsuspecting women fall to their knees. But if you were familiar with Vincent Nightray, you knew that sweet smile was anything but innocent.

Suddenly, his smile fell, replaced with a look of hopelessness.

"Is Oz-kun the reason you can't love me the way I love you?"

Gilbert's eyes were full of emotion—primarily pity, an emotion Vincent hated but couldn't help but feel a tiny bit grateful for.

"Oz isn't the _reason,_ Vince. I just can't love you that way. I love…You know how I feel about Oz. But Oz isn't the reason." Gilbert's voice was quiet, practically silent altogether. "Please, Vince. I love you. Tell me when things like this come up, all right?"

Vincent sighed. "All right, Gil."

 **…**

Vincent had finally let his mind stray from Gilbert.

The woman he'd been seeing with only bad intentions—Ada Vessalius, the one and only Oz Vessalius's little sister—had stayed by his side until the very end, and her devotion, which had once upon a time seemed irritating and stupid, had grown to mean something very different in his heart.

Vincent had truly developed feelings for her, letting his heart focus on someone else besides his dear brother for once. Gilbert and Ada were similar in so many ways—they _were_ friends, after all. They were both kind and wished only for peace and love, and they preferred to stay away from fights if at all possible.

Ada had offered him _forgiveness,_ something he hadn't ever been offered by anyone. It was something vital he'd been tirelessly searching for since the beginning. Vincent had never quite forgiven himself, but this woman, of all people, had taught him how to heal.

His pointless, borderline-psychotic obsession with his brother had faded into adoration, much like his brother's own borderline-psychotic obsession with Oz.

Vincent never stopped loving Gilbert, and there was no way his heart could choose between him and the young woman he'd been going out with officially. It would be like tearing himself in half.

And besides, it was his destiny to end up alone.

After the deaths of Oz and Alice, Vincent had told Gilbert to tell Ada he was dead.

He wished for Ada's happiness with all his heart and he knew she'd never be able to find it with him, despite her bottomless optimism regarding their future. Being a Baskerville, his lifespan was much different and longer than hers, not to mention they were so different themselves it was still a mystery how they'd ended up falling for each other.

And in any case, though he loved her, something about marrying Ada, in Vincent's mind, just seemed…wrong. Like the only puzzle piece left that somehow still didn't fit.

Vincent had to escape everything to start a new life, to travel around the world for the sake of his own selfishness, something Ada had taught him to accept rather than repeatedly deny. He left, knowing that Gilbert would be able to live without him although not without missing him. He left, knowing that Gilbert was resting in solace while waiting to see Alice and his dearest Oz again.

After four years, Vincent knew his time was up, and he reunited with Gilbert. He wanted to tell his beloved elder brother everything he'd forgotten—or simply refused—to say. He wanted to tell Gilbert everything about what he'd done during his absence from his life. But there wasn't time, and Vincent made one last promise to the person he cared for the most. He promised to find Oz and Alice's souls and bring them back to where it all began, back to Gilbert.

Then Vincent died in his older brother's arms.

Gilbert's despair didn't last for long—Vincent wouldn't allow for it, of course. Delivered to him and running into his arms were Oz Vessalius and Alice Baskerville, his absolute best friends, the two people who made him complete.

Vincent was watching, and he smiled as a tear slipped out of one of his eyes at seeing Gilbert stare at Oz with more loving adoration than he'd ever looked at him.

Gilbert loved Oz, and Vincent loved Gilbert—and, well, Ada—and he'd served his purpose.

Vincent had been dying in Gilbert's arms all along with only one desire…to make him happy.

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 **A/N: Well, I hope you enjoyed that. I started writing this fic on impulse and I didn't expect it to break my heart halfway through, but it did. I hope it broke your heart as much as it did mine.**

 **And poor Vincent. He never could find happiness with somebody else, could he? But at least he served his purpose in the end...**


End file.
